One of the problems with my generation is we still lived with the belief instilled in us (usually through threat or force) that “real men” don’t cry. Don’t be a pussy. Man up. What are you, a girl?

I saw how damaging this is to repress your feelings. I saw the end result in my brothers and my guy friends who were all walking around pissed off and angry at the world and why wouldn’t they be? At least I could cry, and I did, gallons of tears in fact, but there they were, getting abused, too, without being allowed to express their emotions about it.

Of course they were ticking time bombs!

One of the songs that hit me the hardest lately is Meine Tränen from the album Zeit. It’s a tearjerker for sure and is about that old adage “boys don’t cry”. The way he writes it is again, so effing poetic it’s unreal but Till has a talent for expressing some people’s reality in a way that we can either relate to or empathize with.

I still live with Mom
Old now, but always there
Even if the sleeves are longer now
I’m still her little child

We are alone, but a lot as a pair
And gladly share half a sorrow
The house is small, the silence is big
She often forces me onto her lap

I still live with Mom
And will probably stay there forever
In the house, a man has been lacking for a long time
I’m helping out as best I can

Mother doesn’t give me much love
But she still slaps my face
And now and then I’vе cried
Then she only said with a smilе

A man only cries when his mother dies
Death is strong, the heart is weak
When your own flesh and blood spoils
The wiser head gives in

She couldn’t love the father either
Driven him out of the world
Now and then a silent scream
And a little litany

Mother didn’t give him much love
But she often slapped his face
Now and then he has cried
Then she only said with a smile

A man only cries when his mother dies
Death is strong, the heart is weak
When your own flesh and blood spoils
The cleverer give in

You should be ashamed of yourself
Never show your tears
You should be ashamed of yourself
Never show your tears
Your tears

Your tears
Your tears

Rammstein

I love the drum beat at the very end. It sounds like he either slams a door on his way out (let’s hope) or she falls to the floor dead (again, he’d finally be free). They are brilliant in adding little nuanced sounds and effects.

What gets me is the part where it says she drove the father out of the world. Did he commit suicide? It is an unspoken epidemic among men, especially after messy divorces and when children are used as pawns the way I was when my parents finally (FINALLY) decided to call it quits on their joke of a marriage.

Lucky for me my mom didn’t want to keep me around to abuse me the way this mom did, but she did want to keep us all beholden to her in other ways.

She also would have been more than happy if my dad had put a gun to his head, but he didn’t and they both moved on. She did, however, live with my bachelor brother until she died and the two of them had a creepily similar relationship to the mother and son in this song.

So yeah, another one from Rammstein that hits close to home.