I spent many nights wandering in the dark, alone, long after most everyone had went to bed. It wasn’t safe for a thirteen year old girl to do what I did, but I survived and I had too many adventures to put into words.

And I wasn’t always alone. I was part of an elite group of night rangers who I called friends. We’d coordinate our escapes each night so we could meet up and go cause mayhem across the valley. It was a crazy time to be alive in central California. Most of our parents were partying hard like we were, but we did it our own way.

Hanging out behind Zippy’s waiting for our hook up so we could have plenty of party supplies to last until dawn. Hopefully more if it was a weeknight because we still had to get up and go to school after sneaking back in our houses and crawling into bed with a couple hours to spare before the alarm went off.

Usually we’d just do more lines and stay up until Friday if we could, then we’d ditch and sleep all day so we could party again that weekend. And my god, did we party hard.

Of course we did. We were from the “Rock-n-roll all night and party every day!” generation. It was sort of the anthem for us and at the time I almost even liked KISS (lol).

Nowadays I’m hooked on Rammstein and their new album Zeit which is especially a masterpiece.

Till is a poetic genius and he gets people like me. Hell, he IS people like me! This song resonates deeply given my history of wandering in the dark, and loving (almost) every minute of it.

When I go to rest before the night (To rest)
I cover myself with melancholy
The bright world doesn’t want to make me happy
I must enrapture myself with the darkness
It’s the night pregnant with death
Which ecstatically makes us sinners
Commandments which we ignore
Can’t be seen by anyone in the dark

The night is beautiful (Beautiful)
I don’t want to go to sleep

‘Cause whenever I’m lonely
I’m drawn to the dark
The sun death is my pleasure (My pleasure)
Whenever it gets dark
And the soul gets lost in lust
The cold night is my pleasure
I drink the black in big gulps (Drink)

When the day has crept into the moon
A fever rises in our bones
And no prayer and no candles
Feign light into our hearts
The daylight is no loss
The night hold her breast for many
Lushes, whores and conspirators
Belong to the shadows

The night is beautiful (Beautiful)

‘Cause whenever I’m lonely
I’m drawn to the dark
The sun death is my pleasure (My pleasure)
Whenever it gets dark
And the sould gets lost in lust
The cold night is my pleasure
I drink the black in big gulps (Drink)

(Drink)

‘Cause whenever I’m lonely
I’m drawn to the dark
The sun death is my pleasure (My pleasure)
Whenever it gets dark
And the sould gets lost in lust
The cold night is my pleasure
I drink the black

Rammstein

It’s so weird to look back and think of little ole me living like a vampire and I honestly don’t know how I wasn’t killed back then, given all I did and also given how many friends and acquaintances of mine did die during those crazy 1980’s. I think of them often and wonder how they would have turned out.

We’ll never know, will we.

One thing I do know is I’m sure they’d be shocked to see what became of me.